Don't look for me on WoW...

Not interested in playing so you won't find me there, if you've been looking for me. Just an FYI, I'm not a huge fan on the xpac anymore, was fun @ first, but I just don't have the time to play anymore & get into the game like I used & there's alot of new stuff to learn. So, don't look for me there, on WoW. Cuz you wont find me. I'll be playing with my stoopid Apps on MySpace! LOL!

www.myspace.com/thepoetivory or www.myspace.com/exiledelite

Feel free to join me for Vampire fun or Mafia fun or in YoVille! heh!

The B*tch *$ B@ck!!!

Yep, I log into Shrinnpoof, & for some reason that big ole sweaty queen from my sister land (England) (Sorry England, when you grow up you may be as soulful & weary as us northerners ;P) starts singing in my head...

Mind you, my head hurts, ALOT....ALL the time, however, Sunday night I was beaconed to from our bedroom, AKA Grai/Fal's office "Hey, you wanna run a quick wing of Naxx?"

WOULD I??????????? DO I??????? WILL I????

Jeezus H..... of course!

O, wait, there is a handsome young man already @ that computer....lol.

Hey, Kid, mind getting off that thing so I can raid my very first Wrath raid ever?


AnyWho....it was nuttin to write home to Mom about....why? Cuz Mom doesnt play WoW Sillies! But I'll tell you guys! hehehe! (Mom does read the blog however, from time to time, Hi Mom! Love you! *snicker*)

Okay, So we did the spider wing, i guess, idk the names of anything, why? cuz I'm just not that into it, even if I was (& I admit I could be) I just don't have the flippin time!

I just had so much D@MN Fun! My gear sux *Shrug*, my DPS is prolly @$$, but I had a blast! So, is that hard core 'nuff fer ya? Mah B*tch was back Sunday, stone cold sober, as a matter of fact! ^.^

went back to the neuro today...

so, yea, went to see the neurologist today. asked my how the hea d was & all that. did explain about the loss of feeling in the hands/feet & lower back & tingling that I woke up with on Monday morning. I went to work anyhow, ya'll, don't get too worked up about it. Just know that all this info does continue to go on file, I did REMIND that doctor that I KNEW I have migraines & the whole reason I even went to the doc in the first place is due to the fact that this seemed to be um, 'bigger' then that....lol!


He asked me if the meds were working...to which I replied "they would probably work alot better if I could remember to take them." I managed to say it with a straight face, arent you proud? Seriously, the memory issue...part of the reason I'm going to you folks here....I remember the one in the AM, not the PM tho...so he wants me to 'try' for another 3 months to remember the night one & go back & report about that...lulz!


Anyhow, if ya'll see me bee boppin aroud azeroth in the PM, ask me if I remembered my meds, ok? lol!


gotta go to work, just waiting for the nails to dry, thought I'd update :)


Thanks fer stoppin in!

~Blessed Be!~

musings...rantings...blah, blah, blah

Jewel sings this great song, cant get it outa my head....


"If I could tell the world just one thing it would be, we are all ok. And not to worry 'cuz worry it wasteful & useless in times like these. I won't be made useless. Won't be idoled with despair. I gather myself around my faith that lights the darkness most fear.

My hands are small I know, but they're not yours, they are my own, yes, they're not yours, they are my own and I am never broken.

Poverty stole your golden shoes, it didn't steal your laughter. And heart ache came to visit me but I knew it wasn't ever after. We'll fight not outta spite, but someone must stand up for what's right, 'cuz where there's a man who has no voice, there ours shall go singing.

My hands are small I know, but they're not yours they are my own, but they're not yours they are my own, and I am never broken......


In the end, only kindness matters......


I'll get down on my knees, and I will pray....

I will get down on my knees and I will pray.

My hands are small I know but they're not yours, they are my own, I AM NEVER BROKEN...."



there are many little battles in my life that I have lost, will possibly lose along the way, but as long as I get back up EVERY single time that I fall, the war is NEVER, EVER over. This old girl still has a hell of alot of fight left in her, no matter what comes her way & I just needed to get up in the middle of the night & write about it.


Shrinn dinged 80 today & I am so fuckin sick of lookin at the back of her cute lil gnome head I could spit, but she made, that lil bitch got there DAMNIT! HUZZAH!


Now, I go play my druid....she doesn't have to sit down to replenish mana after every freakin fight! lmao!


Anyhow, I can't sleep, so I needed to write, thanks for listening...ya'll come back now, 'hear?


~Blessed Be~

Here's Johnny...Er, His name is John, if you please!

Yeppers, School pics back, I got the fun little CD with the photos so here's mah boi!!!!

This one is my desktop backround....






this one is hanging on the wall! :P






Thanks fer stoppin'!
~Blessed Be~

Guess I got all worked up over nothing...

So, yea, yesterday was an epic fail from the word go.

We show up @ the hospital & apperantly I got scheduled with a nuero surgeon, wrong doctor. So, the nurse comes in to let us know that she is sorry for the extra wait, but we're waiting on the "right doctor."

Um, okies, if you say so....


Well, the doctor comes in & lets us know that I have nothing to worry about. There is no cancer, no tumors, no nothing & tells me I am having migraines. There are 8 different medicines I could take, but one is already off the list, Imitrex, because I have tried it & it not only makes me physically ill, but it makes my headaches worse. So, he shines that damn light in my eyes, & again reiterates, there is nothing wrong with me other then migraines.


Grai & I both explain to him that the reason my nuerologist sent me to a specialist is due to high levels of hystiosites & nuetrophil in the spinal fluid test results. To which the doctor replies, " those are very non specific." He then tells us that he can give us samples if we can met him by 12:30 PM in his Orchard Park office. We let him know that we live a 2 hour drive away & as long as it's no later then that, sure, we can meet him.

We find finally his office, which was a cluster fuck in and of it's self, & I let the receptoinist know what's going on. She has me fill out a piece of paper & says they will be calling him. I fill out the paper & give it back.


We wait long enough for Grai to go out & have a smoke & I get called up by a nurse. She says they no longer can give out samples & this doctor does this to her all the time. She basically says go home. I explain to her that it's a long drive home & once we're there, we can't get back. (At this point, we're barely limping the car home & we can't get all it's little issues fixed right this moment)

His office is right off of 219, so since we know we can point the car south on 219 & get home, we head south.

When we get home, there is a message from a mildly snotty woman on our machine that I have an appointment with this doctor @ 3:45 pm...

Um, HELLO? WTF? I thought I just told you ppl that once I'm home, it's where I've got to stay. Plus, I can't just go willy-nilly to a specialist with out a referral or my insurance will not pay you for it.


So, I am a freakin wreck anyhow & I get home to this message & I'm about to look for a semi-automatic weapon, FOR REALLY! My love, the best friend I have ever had, sees all this on my face, hears it in my tangent & offers to call my nuerologist in this town.

My head is screamin' & I am worn the hell out. I felt like a deflated ballooon & then I come home to this crap. Of course I want him to make the next call. I have already called the Orchard Park doctor & spoken with two different people there. Honestly, he looked like he was ready to stand right next to me with that imaginary semi-automatic. I was livid. I mean, REALLY...is this what we call health care? I sure as fuck hope not.

So, he calls my nuero here. Talks to the receptionist. I told him it was my nuero's nurse that made the appointemnt & we really need to speak with her. ...


...


...


A couple hours later, Grai says, "Guess they're not calling." So, I called & tried to speak with the nurse. Busy, can she call you back? Yea....


about 45 minutes later, as I am dozing in the recliner with the puppy, "Ring, Ring" So, I wake up & answer the phone, the puppy wakes up & my son has to try to play with the dog & talk to me all at once. GRRRRRRRR

Grai comes out of his office, AKA our bedroom & grabs the phone for me.


Apparently, Roswell was supposed to hook me up with the right doctor but did not.

I heard him tell her that our (mine, his, the nuero here & her) concerns lie in the high test results of the spinal tap. He also tells her what the Roswell Doc said...the very non specific thing. He explains that running back & forth to Buffalo from where we live is just not a possiblity, especially for mirgraines, for cryin out loud!


So, at this point, we're at the mercy of two more doctors figuring out what the hell is going on. The nurse was awesome, she really was. I have nothing but good things to say about the nurses I came in contact with yesterday, other then that Orchard Park office. They all need to get their heads outa their asses, if you please!


Anyhow, that's really I have the time or energy to discuss at the moment. I've been trying to write this post since about 8 AM...it is now just after 10 AM! LMFAO!



Thanks for stopping by!

~Blessed Be~

And in more interesting & possibly fatal news....

Um, yea, so I wish I was kidding about this. Last Friday I got a call to go into the nuerologist's office. I do not have psuedo tumors according to the spinal tap. & That's exactly how we bagan our little conversation.

He then explained to me that there are several abnormal other results in the test that are routinely run on spinal fluid.

There a couple of such alarmingly high numbers of these tests, that this doctor was baffled.

He did some research & still can not give me any definate results as to what this means, so he is referring me to a specialist in Buffalo, NY @ Roswell.

Anyone who does not live in this area, the word "Roswell" means nothing to you, unless you know some one who has had to go there. The word "Roswell" struck an immediate panic cord straight thru me. It is a great cancer specialized hosptial. & I do mean, GREAT! They are one of the leading cancer centers in this country.

My nuerologist also wrapped up our visit by saying a couple of times that it may be a tumor, cancer, an infection or nothing at all.



It took me awhile to share all this with you, because it didn't really start sinking in until about yesterday.

I need to remember that I do not know anything just yet. I need to remember that God Orderly Direction doesn't put anything in front of me that "He" doesn't intend to see me thru. I need to dwell on more glorious & truimphant things...











I need to find my mom's new cell number so she doesn't read this here before hearing it from my lips & get real pissed at me. O, yea, thanks Susie, I had just memorized the old one not that long ago, too! :P You know my memory ain't what it used to be & now I am probably ACTUALLY brain damaged! hehe! O, but Mom, it's not self induced this time!


So, yea, just trying to keep everyone abreast of the situation with me. & I intend to save this message till I can find Mom's number, cuz she might just take the 5 hour car ride up here to kick my ass if I forget to tell her first again! O, wait, it would be nice to have an excuse to see her! LOL! *Sike*


Thanks for stopping by!

~Blessed Be~

I was wondering...

I was wondering....













When the hell is spring coming??



So is our new puppy, Tek, wondering when the hell it's gonna get warmer so he doesn't freeze his "business" off during the housebreaking process!



Thanks for stopping!

~Blessed Be~

Good news, Bad news, & in other news...

Bad news first....The new job just let go a whole butt load of people today. Like BRAND new people...Some of these people they just hired last Friday. Yea, tell me about it. Ok, did I give you a moment to collect your jaw up off your computer desk? Good. The good part is that MY client, the client I work on the phones for, did not let any one go.

*Phew*

Just the idea of letting all those people go today because we lost one client...*shivers*....Sobering stuff in these scary times, my fine fellow blog-o-shere readers!

Our whole entire flippin household was sick this weekend. Poor Babe, AKA Grai...We spent a large portion of our day in the ER. Diagnosis? Pnuemonia. My son & myself get a head cold, this poor bugger has to go & get spots all up on/in the lungs & what not! Yikes! This is why I make the motherly/wifely STRONG suggestions to go to the ER on a weekend, no matter how much unfun it was.

In a further health related topic, I go for my LOVELY spinal tap on Wednesday....Dun duhda, Dun dahda! I am hoping that just the test will start to eleveate the pain in my head. *prayers said, fingers crossed*





Ok, I like to save the good stuff as a like 'follow up' to the bummer stuff, ...

While we are in Buffalo, we will be picking up our brand new addition & Grai's Valentine's Day present. Yep, we are finally gonna have a baby together. SO OVERJOYED! Ok, these pictures are not MY ...ops, I mean OUR boston baby, but here's what boston babies look like....Boston Terriers are SO Cute & they still grow up to be quite handsome dogs. Think the Frontline "spokes dog?" ... Heh, new word. Nice!





His name will be Tek, short for Veritek, like Jason Veritek, the captain of the Red Sox team. Yeppers, Grai's a big fan. I am a Mets fan, but I like the Sox too. I mean, heh, 1986 happened to all of us, you know. It's easier for ME not to have hard feelings in that situation. Yea, somehow we reconciled our differences, considering him getting with me has been very lucky for his boys! :P

Plus, I was thinking that if we got a girl I would name her Vera....cuz if you put the two names together it kinda sounds like Veritek...lol! But Grai liked Vera from the Flloyd song & that's cool too. Win, Win! I love it when a plan comes together.


& Omigosh...Grai & I have been discussing the possiblity of me getting my own baby girl & us having one litter some time this upcoming year...ish. Huzzah! BABIES, BABIES, BABIES!!!!!!! I Just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE 'em ESPECIALLY when someone else has to carry em & push em out! Pardon me crassness on the subject...just sayin'


O, in other news, we got all the peices parts for mah new pc. The last of 'em shipped in last Friday. Motherboard was D.O.A. however, so we wait until we get the new one. LOL! Warcraft doesn't miss us all that much I think & I am actually not missing Warcraft all that much. But I am missing my peeps! Ya'll make sure you're STILL having enough fun in that xpac for the both of us now, ya hear? ciao 4 now!

Ok..."MAYBE" I'm alittle excited about the new computer...

Yea, I caught myself writting a comment to a great friend of mine that is "retiring" from WoW. It said something along the lines of how I understand how fufilling "Real Life" can be as opposed to a virtual reality in cyber space. I claimed that even with my new "StupidPuter" on it's way soon, I am thinking more about Spring-Time & what I am going to do to my garden this year.


I say I caught myself...Yep...Caught me red handed this time! Wanna know how? Curious as to why I Caught myself?


Well I checked the bank this morning....KNOWING in every fiber of my being that I was setting my own self up for a dashing of my hopes...to see if any of my tax money had posted. Available balance says that our federal banking system must be doing SOMETHIN' right! Yep, federal tax money is there as available. It hasn't even posted yet, but it's there. & It's SCREAMING, "Spend ME Baby! Spend me NOW! Spend ME FASTER! O, Yea, Baby! That's the way I like it!" (Yes, my bank account today is a VERY bossy sex pot!)


So, Grai was pacing, as not to "hover", I think, over my banking info on the screen. I dumbfoundedly asked him to look again in a glance. Yea, he knows me that well. We speak with our eyes to each other very often & on Valentine's Day, I can admit I really DIG that. Kinda turns my cranks, if you take me meanin'. :P Well, he looked. & he double took, just like I had. I breathed in REAL deep, in thru the nose, out thru the mouth. Then he asked me, "Want me to take that 'wish list' on Nuegg & put it into an order?" & I said "YES!" I shouted, Yes, Hunny, give it to me...all the pretty, peices/parts for my new StupidPuter & all the shinies that are gonna save yours. (ok, only internally did I say all that other stuff, but I am SO FREAKIN Thrilled that's it's on it's way)


So, I'm caught! I am caught in a tide of good things. I am caught in my stupid thinking, waiting for the other shoe to drop & waiting for when it all turns to snot again. That's my messed up thinking. I FINALLY started giving credit to where credit was due....Good Orderly Direction. Long as I don't slip up & start taking all the credit back, Today, I am NOT Alone!


Thanks for hearing my lastest rant & thanks for stopping by!


~Blessed Be~

Starting a new "temporary" job today...

Yep, you heard me correctly, I start a new job today. I go in for orientation & training a full 8 hour day today. Yep, it is a temporary position. I will be taking calls for a new client they have, but that job will only last about 3-6 weeks. There is, however, the possibility of it turning into something permanent IF they have enough work for me to do with their other clients & IF I am qualified for the change. *PHEW* That IS a mouthful! lol


Only problems I can foresee.....(be prepared, this is a longer story then the last)
1) I am currently having a heard time reading my own computer screen due to the headaches & vision issues I have been having.
2) I want to keep the job @ Fashion Bug, but for ONCE she actually has the schedule done before a Firday of the week priior & she is not willing to change it now.
3) I view this "temp" spot as like an audition & knowing me, that is just enough time for me to blow it! LOL!
4) I don't know my "new", "temp" schedule for the upcoming week till today! So I have to try to find people from Fashion Bug to switch around the schedule she's already made for me if I want to keep both jobs...



Ok, I give all the credit in the world to God & Kharma that I finally got this job. I need a 40 hr/week job to live. Fashion Bug can only give me 8-12 hours/week. I have to stay true to them though, as much as I can, till I know whether or not this 40 hr/wk job will become permanent.

Today I am trying to live a new way & not be all pissed off, or doubting, or selfish, or arrogant, or just plain an idiot like I can be! So, this is really my way of "journaling." Because I have alot of doubts. I have alot of fear & I can't live in the problem today. Today, I need to think about the solutions & NOT get hung up on feeding the less desirable wolf that fights inside me.


Solutions for now?
1) Go to the new job & pray my mind can be like a sponge & I will do well when the training is over & I start working on the phones. I have done telemarketing work before & there are no "cold calls" involved. These people are already customers.

2) REMEMBER that G.O.D. (Good Orderly Direction) did NOT put this in my path for no reason. I CAN do this with help if I will allow it.

3) Try not to feel l ike I am letting the people at Fashion Bug down. I need to see this opportunity through as best I can.

4) Remember that I would like to stay on @ Fashion Bug even IF this turns into a permanent position. Even if it's just one or two 4 hr. shifts per week.

5) Don't take my petty little bullshit attitudes out on others...period! No matter how stressed I get, I can always just pray. Good Orderly Direction will not let me fall on my face today. As long as I don't put up all my barriers against it!



OKay, now I am not even gonna let my OCD get the best of me here. If I spelled something wrong & You, my darlin readers can't read it, sorry for that. I did this "journaling" thing for me though, just because I needed to!


Thanks for stopping in. Have a WONDERFUL day! Be the master of your destiny today & remember to keep the faith!

~Blessed Be~

Two Wolves

In case you are slowly going blind thru no fault of your own & cannot read the poem above like myself, here are the words.


TWO WOLVES



An elder Cherokee Native American was
teaching his grandchildren about his life.


He said to them;

"A fight is going on inside me....
it is a terrible fight
and it is between two wolves.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy,
sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity,
guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies,
false pride, superiority, and EGO.

The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love,
hope, sharing, serenity, humility,
kindness, benevolence, friendship,
empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and FAITH.

This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."


They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather,

"Which wolf will win?"


The old Cherokee simply replied;

"The one you feed."



Now, I want you all to know that I am working very hard lately to feed the better choice of wolf that fights with the other inside me right now. I can feel all the care, concern, warm thoughts & real prayers out there with regard to the health issues I am having. Thanks so VERY much to you all! I am truly, really blessed! ~Blessed Be!~

Dun dadada, dun dadada....

~Hooray~ Got my W-2 back, FINALLY! Huzzah!

Mah darlin' Grai filed for me online last night. With direct deposit, I should have the tax moneyz back in 10-15 days. At which point, Mah Darlin' Grai will order me all the pretty components for my new system! Then we must add in the time for the pieces/parts to ship here & then just a tiny bit of time for Mah Hunny to get it all put back together!



So............ BE EXPECTING ME TO BE BACK IN GAME, ANNOYING THE $H*T OUT OF YOU ALL AGAIN VERY, VERY SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



FREAKIN YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

"It's not a tumor"

Yes, I am channeling the lovely Arnie AKA The Govenator, in the movie, Kindergarden Cop!



& Yes, we got the results today from the tests. There are no actual tumors on my brain or abnormalities for that matter. Altho, them having to look SO hard to FIND the brain was probably abnormal....teehee! Just Kiddin!


The nuerologist still believes that I have something called "psuedo tumors" (Fake) which is simply pressure on my brain. He stills sees evidence of the optical nerve damage. He siad if it werent for the damage to the optic nerve, he would just diagnos me with migraines. But those I've had since I was a teenager....


AnyWho...... I get to go for a spinal tap to find out for sure. O, GOODIE! That should be super fun!

Well, I wanted to keep everyone abreast of the situation. Thank you all so much for the warm thoughts & thanks for stopping in!

Leveling mah Hunny's herbing

When I don't have to work, but Grai does, he leaves the house with one chore for me to do. Nope, it's not laundry. Not dishes. Not cleaning. Not erasing stuff off our over loaded DVR.



It's leveling the herbalism for his death knight, Sheenah! LOL. She is named after the song from one of the greatest bands of all time. (those are his words, but I'm inclined to agree) She is mildly modeled after a good friend of both of ours, Unseenfiend.


So I was running around Dun Morough with Unseen on Sheenah yesterday morning. Unseen goes "Ew, he gave her the ugly hair." & I was like, "Um, he gave her my original Shrinn's hair!" LOL! Yes, Shrinnkette, the warlock, on my original account whom I got to about level 40, had the Princess Laya buns. So, how is that ugly? Meh, O, Well!

The "F-Bomb" Story

The other night as I was watching/helping my little man, John, with the rest of his homework, I noticed that he had his middle finger up. I inquired as to whether or not it was directed at me, his loving mom. He said, "No." At which point, I told him, as I have before, that that gesture means little to me but others view it as a bad thing. He asked, "Well, what does it mean?" So, I told him it stands for the "F-Bomb." Okie dokie....Moving on then. Um...maybe not so much.

The very next day at school, his buddy & classmate had some little ring on his middle finger that he was proudly showing everyone. Apparently, John informed the young lad that he ought not point with his middle finger. Travis, being the naturally curious first grader that he is asked John why not. To which my darling son explained that it means the "F-Bomb."

John tells me this story on the walk home. We only live about a block from the school so I was mildly concerned that I may have just lost a friend for my son & his parents that I actually like may be annoyed. We got in the door before Travis' stepdad got the kids home, so I called up Miss Christina, Travis' mom. I explained the story & apologized that she may be hearing about this "F-Bomb" thing from her sweet little boy. Thankfully, she just giggled & said "I'm sure my kids have heard worse."


Phew! See why I like these people?


*Shaking head* *sigh* Boys will be boys, eh?

For Cassie and 3B...

Saw these pics. Made me think of our fearless guild leaders & the cats that demand to be fed in their home. Hope you get the giggles I did :D









Talk about feral specced druids! GAWD DAYUM!








O, so which one is one of your cats, guys? teehee!

what the doctors have to say at the moment

Well, the headaches are still there. The nuerologist & the eye doctor I went to both believe I have something called "psuedo tumors." This is brought on by pressure on my brain. My optical nerve is also appearing damaged, from what they can tell. *sigh* I go for an MRI soon as my insurance approves it. Lord have mercy!

Well, being on the computer hurts my head, obviously, so I'm going for now!

Thanks for stopping by :D

It's late, but I have pictures

Pitures of the madness of going to see Santa. With his friends, Travis, Ned & Courtney. I love their parents so it was fun. We all hung out together :)




This is us, waiting in the longest line ever to go see Santa! lol


John is the one in the tan shirt, Travis, his best bud & classmate is in red, Ned is in grey & Courtney is the little girl...duh! TeeHee! Travis, Ned & Courtney are brothers & sister. So Cute!

O, And thanks so much to Miss Christina & Mr. Howard for having a digital camera & sharing these pictures with us all! Huzzah! :D





I love this one. He is SO BUSTED! But Travis doesnt seem to mind...lol




Ah, the big pay off! Santa.... AT LAST! YAY!





I am just not traditional at all! But whatever!


Merry Mistmust, again :)